Introduction to Interpersonal Relations: Inconceivable

[lapacifidora]

Title: Introduction to Interpersonal Relations: Inconceivable
Author: lapacifidora
Spoilers: Anything through 3.07 is fair game.
Rating/ Warnings: PG-14, for slightly implied adult behavior
Word Count: 2,033
Disclaimers: Not mine. Although I think Dan Harmon knows this friend of mine and based Troy on her… The Princess Bride belongs to Bill Goldman.
Author’s note: This was prompted by westwingwolf after Jeff’s slip in “Studies in Modern Movement” that he’s seeing a therapist. She wanted to ‘see’ Jeff’s therapy sessions when he was talking about Annie. Sadly, perhaps, I have a gutter brain. That’s when I turned to honey_pie1 for help. So, I guess you can blame all three of us.  
This is also partially inspired by the inimitable Saber Shadow Kat. This chapter is especially dedicated to honey_pie1, who suggested this exact scenario.
***

Jeff stooped, putting his full weight on the foot he had planted on the edge of the shovel he was using to dig a trench that would be used for irrigation in the field once the crops had been planted. He lifted the shovel-full of soil and tossed it to one side, the sun-warmed linen of his shirt alternately sticking and scratching his sweat-coated skin.

He stood and stuck the shovel into the pile of dirt to one side, running an arm across his forehead and crossing to the water barrel set under the shade of a tree at the edge of the field. He lowered the dipper into the dark depths of the barrel twice in quick succession, quenching his thirst. He filled the dipper a third time and turned it out over his head, shuddering briefly as the cold water left trails across his dust-coated neck and ran down the line of his spine.

“You! You there!” A voice startled him out of his moment of respite from the heat and Jeff turned, lifting a hand to shade his eyes. He recognized the voice – of course he recognized the voice – but he hadn’t expected to hear it that day.

Approaching him across the length of the field was a petite brunette, a large basket of apples strapped to her back. Her hair was gathered back in a messy bun, wispy flyaway strands stuck to her temples and the back of her neck. The closer she came, the more details Jeff could discern. The skin of her neck and shoulders glistened in the early afternoon heat. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion and her eyes bright and slightly unfocused. Her red bodice gaped slightly in front where she had loosened the first few laces, while the white of her chemise contrasted sharply with the skin of her shoulders turning pink from sun. The front of her skirt was tied up, showing her legs from booted foot to just below her knees.

Showing that much leg would’ve been shocking at any other time, but Jeff knew it would be excused in deference to the danger of climbing about the apple orchard.

“Miss Edison.” Jeff offered the brunette a polite smile when she came to a stop a few feet in front of him. “Water?”

“Obviously.” The brunette glared up at him, her gaze focusing on the damp strands of hair Jeff knew were still dripping down his cheeks. “Assuming you haven’t wasted it all by messing about like a dog.”

Jeff’s smile tightened as he turned to fill the dipper for her.

“Well, don’t just stand there, Boy. Help me set down this basket!” The brunette interrupted him and Jeff hooked the dipper handle on the edge of the barrel before turning before turning to help her.

Jeff stepped closer and slid his fingers between the leather straps of the basket and the silk of her skin. She leaned toward him, letting him lift the weight of the basket from her and shifting her arms through the straps. His nose dipped to steal a whiff of the hot, clean scent of her hair.

They both froze when the tip of her nose brushed against Jeff’s clavicle where it showed in the split neck of his shirt. Jeff licked his lips, about to apologize, when he heard a quiet but definitive sniff.

She was smelling him. She was smelling him. She was smelling him. She was smelling him.

Jeff cleared his throat and stepped back and to the side, easing the apple basket from her shoulders. She followed his movements from the corner of her eye, not moving toward the water barrel until he’d gone around it to set the basket against the tree trunk. He turned and found her greedily gulping water. He smirked until she abruptly clutched at her head and started choking a little.

Rushing forward, Jeff took the dipper from her hand, hanging it off the barrel side once more, and wrapped an arm around her waist to lead her to the tree trunk. He helped her sit and then knelt next to her, pounding her on the back while she coughed and sputtered. A hand tightening on his knee let him know she was done choking, and his hand on her back landed lightly and rubbed loose circles as she sat with her head resting against her knees and caught her breath.

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, Annie: You can’t drink that quickly when you’ve been out in the fields. Your body can’t absorb it that fast. Not even drought-deprived soil can withstand a torrential downpour.”

“Stop being such a know-it-all, Jeff.” Annie wheezed, taking a shaky breath through her nose and turning her head slightly to fix him with a one-eyed glare. “I wasn’t drinking that fast.”

“Says the girl who just nearly choked on water.”

“Shut up.” Annie’s glaring eye fluttered closed and she turned her head so he could see more of her face, the flush of her cheeks receding as her breathing returned to normal. Jeff smiled softly as she kneaded his leg just above his kneecap and her back arched just slightly to keep contact with his hand. They were quiet for a long moment.

“Do you want more?” Jeff asked quietly, reaching out with his other hand to lift a limp strand of hair off Annie’s cheek and tuck it behind her hear.

“Hmmm?” Annie responded, her eyes closed and a small smile on her lips. Jeff shifted to sit beside her and leaned his face toward hers.

“Do you want more?” He smiled as her eyes blinked open, then widened comically as she realized how close he was. With a wordless yelp, she reared up, smacking the back of her head against the tree trunk and then falling sideways with a moan.

“What are you doing? You- you- stupid jerk!” Annie clutched at her head and tried to curl into a ball. Jeff reached over and slid a hand around the far side of her ribs while he held onto the arm nearest him and tried to sit her up. She batted at his hands and frowned, her eyes slipping closed. “Leave me ‘lone.”

“I was asking if you wanted more water.” Jeff evaded her flailing hand as best he could and tugged her upright, settling her weight against his side and prying her fingers from the back of her skull. “And I can’t leave you alone because I need to make sure you’re not bleeding.”

“Jerk face.”

“Right.” Jeff shook his head as he prodded at the crown of Annie’s head. “I’m the bad guy: Trying to keep you from choking on water, offering to get you more, making sure you won’t drop dead on the way back to your uncle’s farm…” He trailed off as his inspection revealed no blood and his prodding turned to gentle rubbing. “I’m so horrible.”

“You are.” Annie’s voice was muffled as she had her face pressed into Jeff’s side, but her tone held little venom.

“Uh huh.” Jeff’s fingers brushed over something solid and he tugged at it, thinking it was a twig or piece of hay.

“Ow ow owww.” Annie pulled back and tried to move her head away, swaying when she moved too quickly.

“Careful.”

“Stop pulling.”

“Something’s stuck in your hair.”

“Yeah.” Annie lifted one hand to her hair, brushing his aside and carefully removing a handful of hair pins. She tucked them into a pouch tied at her waist and slowly shook her head, letting the fall of her dark shiny locks swing down around her face and fan over her shoulders.

Looking down, Jeff found himself staring into her dark eyes, with her smaller form tucked into the hollow of his arm.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” She blinked and dropped her gaze, a smile crossing her lips as she picked at a loose thread on his shirt. “It’s really hot out there today.”

“I know.” Jeff smirked and pointed to himself. “Been digging a ditch all day. In a field. With no trees.”

“OK, OK, point taken.” Annie sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I don’t know why they wouldn’t let you help in the orchard today.”

“I believe your uncle said it was because I would prove to be a distraction to you.”

“What? You? A distrac-” Annie’s voice trailed off as she looked up at him mid-scoff. She swallowed and licked her lips, not noticing how his eyes dropped to her mouth for a second. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah.” Jeff reached up and smoothed a hank of her hair over her shoulder. “I think he thought we would get more done.”

“I guess that makes sense. We probably are more reproductive- productive, um, working on our own.” Annie flushed and shifted restlessly as she stared up at him.

“Uh. Right.” Jeff noticed his hand was still laying on her shoulder and he lifted it toward her head, planning to pat her gently on the cheek and pull away. He watched as Annie’s eyes became guarded and her gaze slid away over his shoulder, her posture becoming defensive in a heartbeat.

With a sigh, Jeff cupped Annie’s cheek and pulled her face toward his, placing his mouth firmly against hers and tracing the seam of her lips with his tongue. With a tiny sound like a cross between a sigh and a purr, her lips opened and her tongue ventured out to meet his as the hand on her back urged her to shift closer, nearly into his lap and the hand on her cheek slid around to the back of her head, holding her close.

Annie shifted again and Jeff found her straddling his hips, her chest pressed tightly against his own while the hand at her back crept up and around toward her breast, causing her to pull back and moan his name-
***
“Jeff.” A beat, followed by a poke in the tender spot where his shoulder met his chest. “Jeff.”

Jeff blinked his eyes open, smiling a little as Annie came into focus in front of him.

“Jeff, you need to quit being a selfish jerk and go home.”

“What?” Jeff shook his head, the remnants of his dream slipping away before he could grab onto them.

“The movie’s over. Everyone else has left, and Troy and Abed kind of need their ‘room’ back.” Annie sat back on her heels, using air quotes as she nodded around the TV space of the apartment, which also was TroBed’s bedroom area.

“Oh. Right.” Jeff yawned and stretched. “Too bad you guys don’t have a guest room.”

“Right.” Annie shook her head. “C’mon, we’ve got class tomorrow.”

“I’m going.” Jeff stood and patted his pockets, making sure he had keys, cell phone and wallet. He frowned as his brain caught up with the conversation. “I’m not a selfish jerk.”

“Then can you explain why you slept through the last 45 minutes of The Princess Bride?”

“Yes. I was actually up working on an assignment last night.” Jeff let Annie push him toward the door. He turned in the door frame, blocking the door with his body as he stared fondly down at the petite brunette, who stifled a yawn against her sleeve. “But this wasn't awful. We should all do movie night more often.”

“Uh huh. We can talk about it tomorrow.” Annie squinted up at Jeff, moving to close the door. “Wait. What assignment were you working on?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Oh.” Annie bit her lip as she turned the door handle back and forth absently. She took a step forward and looked up at Jeff with wide eyes. “Do you need any help with it?”

“Not this time.” Jeff smiled down at her, raising his hand as though to pat her on the head. He watched as her gaze shifted over to his shoulder when she caught sight of his hand moving toward her head. He exhaled heavily and laid his hand on her shoulder, then leant forward and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “But thanks for offering.”

“Goodnight, Jeff.”

“Night, Edison.”
***