Self-directed blarg

[lapacifidora]

I thought about starting this post by asking if anyone wanted a life, gently used.

But I don't know why someone would want my life, to be frank.

My birthday is in two days, and I don't even know where to start. Everything about my life kind of sucks at the moment. My dad was taken to the hospital two weeks ago because he had developed an ulcer and passed out at work because of internal bleeding. My brother and sister-in-law are in Hawaii because they're on their 'babymoon.'

I'm going to digress for a moment: Who the fucking hell actually goes on a 'babymoon'? I was mostly under the impression that babymoons were something that the obnoxious couple on a sitcom that no one in the audience really likes. I mean, that's pretty self-indulgent bull-shit, right? I just...is that the best use of their time and money? It's possible I'm over-reacting and I understand that they are not going to be able to have the lifestyle they have become accostomed to in the last 10 years - lots of entertaining and a nice house with a nice car - but they've also been pretty desperate to have a baby, so that's just something they're going to have to deal with. I realize I sound like a bitch, but I have little patience for people who get what they want and then fuss because getting what they want changes their life.

But beyond that, there's the dad thing, there's the work thing (It's getting progressively worse as my supervisor becomes more and more freaked out over the next big project, but if she could actually be assertive, it wouldn't have been that bad.), and my friends are basically moving on with their own lives.

It's kind of pathetic, actually. I used to be the person they would come to for advice. And now (cue Jewish grandmother voice) they never call, they never write....

Everyone gets to move forward except me. At least that's the way it feels.

My mum keeps asking me what I want to do for my birthday, and I feel weird about saying that all I really want to do is sleep the entire day and ignore my reality.

So there's a lot of self-directed blarg right now because i realize that compared to a lot of people, I have a great life. It's just that reminding myself of that fact doesn't help as much as I would wish.

Comments

[ravenecho.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday!!! (I think I've gotten the time difference right lol)

I hope everything with your dad, family, work etc. gets better :)

[lapacifidora.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) You did get the time difference correct.

Things will be better, I'm sure, as soon as I have some time to decompress. It was just a mental clusterfuck. But it'll be better.

(Btw, I'm not trying to harp but I'm curious: Have you had any luck with the job search? It just took me forever to find anything and that's here, and I wondered what it was like on the other side of the planet.)

[ravenecho.livejournal.com]

Lol sorry about the late reply. I forgot. I was going through my emails and saw I hadn't replied to this one. I'm very forgetful at the best of times. My bad. :P

To answer your question, I haven't really had any luck... because I haven't looked lol. I did see a career adviser at uni a couple of weeks ago and he gave me some good tips and places to start looking, so I'm going to get cracking on that tomorrow.

How's things with you? Everything a bit better on your end? :)