Pardon my language.
Aug. 14th, 2012 12:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lapacifidoraCrap.
Crap crap crapcrapcrapcrap crappity crap crap.
This adulthood thing really kind of sucks, y'know.
Firstly, my amazing new job? The one I started in March? I have this insane coworker who's made life miserable and made me feel unwanted and unnecessary and useless. (I was hoping for another 'un-' word but it's late, my contacts hurt and I couldn't think of one.)
Secondly, there might have been a guy. But I've had to start telling myself he's gay. Not because he actually is gay, but because he's off-limits. And I've learned it's easier to tell myself they're gay because then I don't have to put myself through the interminable madness of wondering whether he'll ever realize I exist and then maybe be interested in me, eventually. (Which never happens, but I'm used to that part.)
And, finally, two of my very dearest friends are possibly having trouble and there's nothing I or anyone can do. It's horrible for them, but if I can take a moment to be selfish, it kind of blows for me, too. I like to help people. I like to fix things. I like to help people by fixing things, sometimes for them and sometimes with them. (There's actually a reason for that, but that's a subject for a different post explaining some of my neuroses.)
But this is one of those midnights of the soul they have to travel through on their own, and all I and any of their other friends can do is sit by and be there to listen if we're needed.
Now that I think about it, all three of these problems have to do with everyone I know - myself included - being absolute crap at communication. Actually, it's kind of enough to make me wish I liked booze because I could sure use a drink.
Crap crap crapcrapcrapcrap crappity crap crap.
This adulthood thing really kind of sucks, y'know.
Firstly, my amazing new job? The one I started in March? I have this insane coworker who's made life miserable and made me feel unwanted and unnecessary and useless. (I was hoping for another 'un-' word but it's late, my contacts hurt and I couldn't think of one.)
Secondly, there might have been a guy. But I've had to start telling myself he's gay. Not because he actually is gay, but because he's off-limits. And I've learned it's easier to tell myself they're gay because then I don't have to put myself through the interminable madness of wondering whether he'll ever realize I exist and then maybe be interested in me, eventually. (Which never happens, but I'm used to that part.)
And, finally, two of my very dearest friends are possibly having trouble and there's nothing I or anyone can do. It's horrible for them, but if I can take a moment to be selfish, it kind of blows for me, too. I like to help people. I like to fix things. I like to help people by fixing things, sometimes for them and sometimes with them. (There's actually a reason for that, but that's a subject for a different post explaining some of my neuroses.)
But this is one of those midnights of the soul they have to travel through on their own, and all I and any of their other friends can do is sit by and be there to listen if we're needed.
Now that I think about it, all three of these problems have to do with everyone I know - myself included - being absolute crap at communication. Actually, it's kind of enough to make me wish I liked booze because I could sure use a drink.
