The world's not quite as epic as I thought. (a.k.a. Blarg)

The new job is turning into a mammoth cluster-eff. I need to update my resume and start looking for a new job. It's frustrating because I had such high hopes for this job, and because having a regular income is incredibly important to me. (I'm neurotic about money and have been since I was a kid. It's a long, mostly pathetic story that I won't go into here.)

But I also don't know that I can work for someone who is - at times - unprofessional, rude, petty and mean. Now, petty and mean I can mostly handle. Unprofessional and rude I don't handle well.

What I really can't handle is being told that I'm half-assing things or that I'm a huge disappointment or that I'm practically useless, though not in as many words.

So now I'm talking to friends who work for Patch.com and I'm updating my resume and I hate everything. Maybe I could've done things differently: I'm not saying I'm completely without blame in this situation.

But I'm also not going to abase myself just to keep a job I'm not passionate about. If I have to, I'll go to work in a shop: I can work in a shop but not be a shop girl, dammit.